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Healthy, Happy Friends – November 2013

Healthy, Happy Friends - November 2013
By Joan Sewell

What with the government shutdown and the continuing debate on raising the debt limit, I have decided that we need a few laughs in this month’s column.  So I solicited some funny stories fromH2U members and at their requests I will refrain from revealing names in the stories they insist are true.  So here goes and I hope you get a laugh or two!

An H2U member was eyeing himself critically in the dressing room mirror of a local clothing store.  When he came out, he said to his wife, “I remind myself of those labels on the cereal boxes.  I look like my contents have settled during shipping.”  Good observation and it could apply to the womenfolk too.

The granddaughter of an H2U member is in her first year of teaching first grade.  She is amazed at first graders’ desire to carry heavy backpacks to and from school.  Trying to talk them out of such a practice has no results.  But she got a real laugh at this youngster’s request, “My backpack is full, Miss J. Could I just fax this conduct report home?” I think it is neat that he really wanted that conduct report to get home.  It must have been a good one otherwise he would have filed it in the round file by the door (trashcan) as he left the room.  

A grandmother insisted that her three-year-old granddaughter eat  her vegetables before she would serve her dessert.  An argument ensued.  Finally the young girl peevishly asked, “Grandma, Can’t we just compromise?”  Surprised by the use of such a big word, the grandmother asked, “Compromise?  What does compromise mean?”  

Oh, you know.  It’s like make a deal.  I eat one vegetable and I get half my dessert”  You have to wonder if  the members in Congress know what a compromise is?

Finally, here are two comments written by English-challenged doctors on patients charts.  “When standing with eyes closed, he missed his right finger to his nose and had to search for it on his left side.” “The patient is a 53-year-old police officer who was found unconscious by his bicycle.”

Happy birthday wishes go to Regina Phillips, Dorothy Hagosky, Donna Martin, and Meta Scott.  Congratulation to Brad and Reese Clemons on celebrating their 35th anniversary! 

The mystery day trip to Marietta on a rainy day was a huge success.  Don’t forget the   Travel Meeting on November 13 at 9:45 at the Bethesda Senior Center.  It will introduce the day trips and overnight trips available for the next three months.  You do not have to be a member of H2U to attend this meeting.