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Hey Ya’ll: It Finally Happened

I have a hobby and it is shopping. I like to look at things. I love to feel the fabrics. I adore trying on clothes. I am one of those who fixes clothes back on the hangers.

Marlene Ratledge Buchanen

I always return my things to the racks. I do not believe in buying anything at full price. A 50% discount sends me in rapture. 75% off is practically orgasmic.

Belk’s was having a huge clearance sale. I had waited for this day with great anticipation. Belk Bucks were burning a hole in my pocket yearning to be spent. I even had a 4% Rakuten cash back bonus.

Everyone needs a hobby. This was mine. Yes, Wilma and Betty had nothing on me. I was ready. Fired up and poised to shop. My finger was limber and primed to click. I had enough coupons that Belk would owe me money on a purchase!

Vibrating with excitement I watched as the sale items start forming on the screen. Slowly I scrolled down the rows of pretty things. Periodically I stopped to scrutinize details of an enticing item as I pondered the worthiness for my coupon feverish fingers.

I reached the bottom; the end of all the pages. Nothing.


I found nothing I wanted.

I had pants in all those colors. I had more tops than Belk had listed on either its clearance or its regular purchase list. There was nothing to fire my imagination of dressing up to go somewhere so I could flaunt my new duds. Sigh.

I hadn’t checked shoes.

Quickly I began the search for the perfect pair of shoes. Row after row. Page after page.


I found nothing. Again?

There was not one pair of shoes to buy. No new colors. No new styles.
Covid has taken its toll. I don’t need anything, because I don’t go anywhere. I have shopped through the pandemic and have no place to wear my pretties.

Oh woe is me. My hobby is failing me and my husband is laughing and dancing a jig. “She found NOTHING” he sings.